I can’t believe I forgot to write about the Australian.

There was an Australian couple walking near me. They chatted a lot about inane topics such as viral videos and who knew their best friends the longest and wouldn’t it be neat if a monkey would climb on one of us.

The monkey park is clear that this last bit of inane chatter is best left as is. Don’t look them in the eye, don’t feed them, and don’t be a dick.

Well, the couple opted for a more liberal approach, coxing a monkey up on the man’s head. It was a cute Instagram moment, to be sure.

Then the monkey proceeded to dig into the backpack pockets. Cute!

Then the monkey proceeded to unzip the other pockets and pull things out. Monkeys do this. And they like shiny objects.

The man decided to drop his backpack and the monkey on the ground, pockets spilling all over the pavement.

The monkey decided to grab the couple’s scooter keys and run off into the park.

Cheeky monkey!

Oh, in case you care about the Australian couple and if they got their keys back … I had so little invested after the monkey skedattled that I didn’t follow up beyond pointing them to the closest park ranger.